ZeroArk3's Xanga

The calm before the storm

Mon, 07 May 2007 00:47:29 GMT

My partial exams start tomorrow and today i was kinda relaxed since i studied all night yesterday. I just gotta re - read some theorems and formulas so i can get them very well.

While i was studying i asked myself "Why do i do all this for?"

For myself? No... i hate myself so much
For my parents? I couldn't care less
To feel achieved? Yea, right, lol

I couldn't find an answer....

So why do i do things like this?... for you of course..

Sometimes people lose themselves into their harsh feeligs and let their worst side come to the light...

... but that's another story

Friday, April 13, 2007

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 22:04:33 GMT

Friday 13th, a horrible day for most of the people, but not for me.

This kind of days make me remember that, back in time, someone appeared, in the darkest hour, the darkest day.

It's good at least not to lose Hope =/

Well, yes, short writings of mine, Meh

Yet more lies...

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 01:28:55 GMT

Ever happened that you think love someone all of the sudden, but then you noticed that you don't really love that person and it was just something you wanted to forget someone else?

It happened to me .... actually twice up to now.

Why?
I don't know... i think the pain i'm carrying is starting to crush my heart little by little, and just try to forget her...

... but somehow i end up in a dead end, between her and the other girl (Which i think i love) and i confuse myself that much that my head starts to hurt.

So much time has passed, and up to now i haven't be able to forget you...

Why? ... I don't know, i just start to think on you again everytime i thought i forgot you

Our love started by ... accident? ... fate? Who knows...

I decided to believe it was fate ...

... What about you?

"Our meeting might have been an accident, but this .... this fated to happen"

- Raimond de thalos (The main char of my book xD)

It's been a year already...

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 12:50:01 GMT

Whoa ... this was a year loaded with crap ...

Meh ... in this times of the year i remember all the things that happened back in 2004 ... all that sadness, those tears... those shouts (... Welll they were just Caps ... but it's considered shouting ¬¬)

I wonder ... why in the world did i fall in his lies?
I mean ... i knew something like this was gonna happen to us by our own fault ... but that he get involved.. why?

What did he wanted?
What benefit did he got?
WHY?!

I might never know ...

.... What do i want for Christmas this year?...
Same like last year... Her forgiveness

Merry Xmas everyone

Meh... thoughts of mine

Sun, 22 Oct 2006 02:04:29 GMT

What do i have to do to get your forgiveness?

I might never know.....

I'm so hypocritical.... lol .... i call myself agnostic, but to be honest i just do the opposite in convenient situations.. i do the right so i have a "fake hope" to get your forgiveness.. i dont know lol..... i'm so desperate... i don't know what to do, what to think... nothing at all!

I just wish all that stuff never happened ... so we'd still be happy.... and together

I wish ..... it's a word i over use... i'm a dreamer lol let me be >_>

I'm not perfect... but i'm working on that right now... i might be a bastard for some people, but i want to be perfect for you, not for anyone else but you...

.. Well i suppose that's a matter of point of view... or something >_>

So anyway making a book is difficult lol...

Missing you more than ever......

Thinking about you more than ever...

I won't say never, i won't say forever ...... I'll just say i'll never forget you and i will love you forever...

.... WTF? .... ok dunno where that came from.. but it's a nice phrase :(

Phew... Partials are over

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 02:40:53 GMT

Well partials are over

So yeah i did kinda good ..... cept in SS .... i mean when the hell did he told us about that?..... WTF dude?....
I'm gonna bitch that idiot so badly that he'll have to give me an A to shut me up.... i bet everyone will lol

So yeah, i applied to get into a Game Project, is called Oceanus. So yeah they said my skills are ok but that i gotta study more C++ so i can officially join them.... so that's what i'm doing ^^

I wanna be the best programmer ever so i can make a game about my book and well... you know my life's story...

Anyway there haven't been too much progress in my book ..... just making sure everything is in order with cities and the like, organizations, prestigious characters, among other stuff....

...... so yeah thats all lol

Take care all

Requiems of the past...

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 02:37:54 GMT

For some reason, many (i mean it, many) of things of the past, where i want to get trapped, had came across me during the week...

Monday:
Well i just went to college for 3 - 4 hours but when i got back (Grr.. i hate programming) i got wonderful news about Final Fantasy XI (The game we were gonna play together but we couldn't cuz i forgot to get you an account T_T) and well that reminded me that T_T... Damn i miss the Thief - Dark Knight Party Idea :/

Tuesday:
Well i stayed at college all..... well almost all day, so i got home REALLY late.. well the thing is that when i was walking home i saw that star, yes the star i named after you ^^.... appear in the dark sky of the night..... Is that a sign?

Wednesday:
Lamest day ever :( ... Neway i got back early cuz my leg was hurting A LOT ... I started sorting my files since i had nothing to do and well i found some things you sent me :(

Thursday:
All day again -__- ....... well i didn't like this day at all, my leg started hurting as hell so i had to skip several classes. Well i ran across "The betrayer", who plotted against us (And to be honest he succeeded) .... so i just added him to MSN. I start to understand what his REAL intentions were after all .....

Friday:
Well almost no classes..... this was like devastating o.o
I heard that your origin place was being overwhelmed by a hurricane (Damn forgot the name, Ernest of Eustace or something like that)

Saturday:
LOL we got bitched by Maths Professor (Well not me cuz im the best of that class ^^) and .... i saw MANY people who resembled to you ...... A destiny test? Probably

Today ..... dunno i felt pissed at this life i'm living.... but you know, we don't control the world, we only tweak the situations so they favor us ..... or something :/

Gah it's late and i gotta go to college early tomorrow -.-

Cya next mont.... er..... day or week i dunno i hate partial exams -_-

And when i feel like ..... i can feel once again

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 03:03:49 GMT

Ever felt like "OMG i can do anything, whatever you ask me for", but when you think about it (the things i mean) more and more diffculties appear..... and well you just feel overwhelmed for them =/

But that really doesn't matters for me, i was just saying it for other people.. i mean most of them just break promises as.... i don't know as if they didn't mean anything...

What about me? Well in the past, before i "opened my eyes" (lol that's good material for my book!!) i was the same. Just used them as "screens" for my purposes (Ya i'm evil :P) so well... but all that changed.....

Now i just focus on finishin College and getting a job in Atari or anywhere which Headquarters are at NY.... no matter what requirements they ask i'll meet, and, surpass them ......

.... Because i've made my mind already, no matter how, when, or what tries to stop me, i'll CRUSH THEM with all my might.... it's my blessing, it's my curse... for good or evil, here i stand, your most loyal knight..... and finally:

If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong.......

Whoa it's the second post i made based in a song :/
Here it is (And please ignore the little girls with big guns :D)

You may dream and i'll attempt....

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 03:00:11 GMT

I miss those days, the days we used to talk that much, those days loaded of ..... i don't know, happiness.... or i don't know, but i was so very happy back then...... now i just want to revive the past or to live in an eternal loop in the past ..... *sigh* the only thing i got left as a memory is this....

Yea... i haven't deleted it. I don't know why, don't ask me, i'm romantic... lol >_<

I hope you really could actually read all this, i don't know ... back then i was so childish, so ... selfish?.. i don't know i was like Yukino (Dude wtf since when i'm comparing myself to an anime character????) to portay myself an image of... i don't know.... someone who thought was better than anyone, in anything (Prolly i am lol...) but then you came and taught me so many things..... *sigh* i don't know........

What happened on Xmas of 2005...... it really hurt me .... i don't know, i think i was very strong but very weak at the same time that in the end everything collapsed and ..... it just dissappeared... say.. just because i met an idiot who liked watching conflicts .... i don't know.

What i do know?
Keep the promises i made you of course..... why? i don't know, there's anything else in this world left for me i believe, i try my very best day by day, and what's the reason for that?... guess ¬_¬

*sigh* now i think bout the past and notice, i was supposed to make, or at least attempt, to make all your dreams come true, but i did all the opposite..... Morgan's first law....lol (Damn! i got an exam about it tomorrow!) Er.... nvm the exam part >.<...

Well .... the only thing i want to say with this is:
I miss the past so much, i miss those days, and specially..... I MISS YOU.

Remember what you once told me: It doesn't matter how hard (Well you actually said shitty, lol) life is, you don't have to lower your head and resign, but retry and do it the best you can. That's life, an eternal game of tries and retries....

Hmm.... and remember, no matter what happens, if you feel lonely or sad..... remember that there's someone here that thinks about you everyday .... Huff... i really had to let that go -.-

I feel relieved...... so anyway guys, i'm still writing the book :P

It's gonna be Called "Chronicles of a Bard '(Insert a caption here)'" (Still working in the caption -_-)
Simply because it will be about a Bard, Raimond de Thalos ..... oh yeah, you also are in the book :P
(All the ways i met you .... whoa there are like 5 you, and 3 me ... damn you always pwn me ¬¬ )

Well to finish everything.... I miss you ^^.. and the promises i made you still remain..

Ugh... i gotta go back studying ~_~
College is hard as hell but not for that i'm forgetting you.....

OH YEAH ..... ive been listening to Karekano's OP for 46 hours (Of course i stopped some hours for classes, sleep, etc but that's an aproximate)

Well i gotta study now, cya

EDIT:
Oh yeah, my xanga is reviving anytime soon ..... after Partial Exams i suppose ~_~

Been thinking ...... lol

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 13:14:53 GMT

What's life?..... That's what everyone asks themselves, why do i live? why?.....

Well, no one can answer that to be honest, you just gotta live on till' you think you found something, or someone, that you think you live for... well dunno im sayin random stuff >_>

Anyway, what can someone do if it's reason to live hates it?....

....... i'm to answer that in a near future....

..... and for the book ..... Realm of Rivelia is the start place :P